Friday, January 12, 2007
8:47 pm
i am not depressed, neither am i being emotional.
im just h e a r t b r o k e n.
i was right.
my guess was right.
when i received the news,
there was a great change in me.
my face fell, my mood sank, my heart broke.
i understood the feeling of being shown the door.
at least he didnt, but it all doesnt matter now.
nothing is important anymore.
after reality hits in.friends always says "eh, my ! you are damn bad to your boyfriend lah! "yea, maybe this is my retribution?
it has been eight months...
it may not seem long, but trust me, unrequited love is unbearable.
it started off with an eyecandy,
to a mixed and unsure feeling.
finally, now a firm 'YES, I LIKE HIM'
i know you will not be seeing this, but in case anybody tells you about it, i too, cant be bothered anymore.
you are..
the first person i EVER confessed to.
the first person i pinned so much for.
the first person i talked the whole day about.
the first person i wanted so much.
i thought i could let go.
i thought i could forget.
i thought i was able to take it in stride.
i thought it would all be back to normal SOON.
however, it doesnt appear to be so.
i was totally wrong.
my heart grew fonder each day; not lesser.
felly asked "say one day, you see him on the street holding on to another girl's hand, what will you do?"
my reply was "say 'hi' and walk away?"
"will you cry?"
"not infront of him, at least."
im not even sure if i'll breakdown anytime soon,
but, not infront of him, at least?
=)
i hated the behaviour of mine at that time.
i regretted treating him as invisible.
i regretted not being myself.
i regretted for not doing something more
i regretted not taking the initiative.nothing is better than a 'oh, its all a misunderstanding'
what's the point of saying this now?the fact remains.they will still be together
what's new?
sel poivre et l'eau
